maybe i won't suffer

I honestly don't know why I do these things to myself. This mix was so painful to put together, you have no idea. I have this headcanon/story I want to write (lol yeah right) about Liam and Zayn's relationship -- Zayn's a bit (okay maybe a lot, maybe desperately, but he has enough of a sense of self-preservation that he'd never admit it) in love with Liam and Liam knows but he's completely in love with Danielle, so it's not like he can do anything about it. But he has these thoughts, sometimes, wonders what it'd be like, because he knows Zayn would do anything he wanted and he's never been with a guy before and maybe it'd be nice, you know, just to see. And one night Liam gets drunk, just to give himself an excuse, and they sleep together and it's amazing. Reality doesn't wait long to seep in, though, and Liam panics in the morning, telling Zayn that it's never going to happen again and he made a mistake. From then on I can no longer be coherent because everything is just a mess of heartbroken Zayn feelings and he dates Perrie to try to get over Liam but it doesn't work, and this causes me a lot of pain, so here, have a mix that is basically about that. Share in my emotional distress. Click the cover to download the mix and click the cut for a tracklist.

UNTOUCHABLE FACE Ani DiFranco tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you too bad you had to have a better half she's not really my type but i think you two are forever and i hate to say it but you're perfect together CROWD SURF OFF A CLIFF Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton cursed with a love that you can't express it's not for a fuck, or a kiss rather give the world away than wake up lonely everywhere and every way i see you with me PIECE OF YOU The Pierces i’m gonna close my eyes to change my vision i’m gonna have another drink so i can make a bad decision and i want a piece of you tonight i’m gonna change my name so no one can find me i’m gonna lose my mind so no one can remind me yeah i want a piece of you tonight GLOBES & MAPS Something Corporate light breaks underneath a heavy door and i try to keep myself awake fall all around us on our hotel floor and you think that you've made a mistake and there's a pain in my stomach from another sleepless binge and i struggled to get myself up again i wanna hang onto something that won't break away or fall apart like the pieces of my heart EVERYTHING MUST FIND ITS PLACE Sleeperstar all of this is wrong all of this i now regret the lonely never sleep she's always in my head let it be, let it be my fault this is you, this is me caught in between these cold lies saying oh my let it be, let it be my fault this is you, this is me stuck in between these old lies this is all i can take NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER Fall Out Boy i keep my jealousy close cuz it's all mine and if you say this makes you happy then i'm not the only one lying SORRY Maria Mena and i say baby, yes i feel stupid to call you, but i'm lonely and i don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me and i thought maybe if i kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too he said i'm sorry so sorry i'm sorry so sorry LIES Marina & the Diamonds you're never gonna love me, so what's the use? what's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose? what's the point in saying you love me like a friend? what's the point in saying it's never gonna end? WAYS & MEANS Snow Patrol maybe i won't suffer if i find a way to love her i'd be lying to myself but there is no way out that i can see SUNBURN Ed Sheeran you’re not her though I try to see you differently i toe the line you see, i’m searching for what used to be mine i saw your eyes and then i saw her staring back at me and i will try to find another one who suited me as well as her BREATHE AGAIN Sara Bareilles all i have, all i need, he's the air i would kill to breathe holds my love in his hands, still i'm searching for something out of breath, i am left hoping someday i'll breathe again it hurts to be here i only wanted love from you it hurts to be here what am i gonna do?